Friday, July 31, 2009

Breakdown

Kiplan and Jeremy continued to watch the movie they had found on TV and were just getting into it when....

...the t.v. broke.

Jeremy went insane. It seemed that his whole world really was crashing down around him just like he thought.

Then Kiplan went in the kitchen and broke the sink.

Jeremy couldn't handle it. He just did not want to deal with the sink. the toilet. the t.v. and who knows what else might break next. So he went in his room and continued to read "A Magnetic Attraction"

Meanwhile Kiplan was also disgusted, but he thought it might be cool to clank a wrench around the sink. But he was unsuccessful.

So he decided to poke a screwdriver into the front of the TV.

Jeremy had gone to bed, but couldn't sleep. He went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and surprise, surprise- the toilet overflowed. He could hear Kiplan breaking the TV even worse in the other room and knew that the kitchen must be flooded.
He knew what he had to do to keep his sanity.

He called work and quit on the spot. He hated working there- even if it was just two days- it sucked. And he was needed around the house today.

While Jeremy went from room to room fixing the broken things, Kiplan cleaned up behind him.

and Kiplan oversaw the project.

and Kiplan broke other things.

It's a good thing one of them is a handy-man.

And by the afternoon everything was fixed and Jeremy had something to be proud of.

Kiplan was so happy to see the TV working again, he started watching it immediately.


And Jeremy looked in the paper for a job but didn't see one that felt like the right fit for him. There's always tomorrow. But for now he can work on honing his skills and making new friends.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Jeremy Has a Bad Day


Jeremy woke up for work and went straight to the bathroom. Upon flushing the toilet it got clogged for what must be the zillionth time and Jeremy became enraged, thinking the toilet had a personal vendetta against him because it never clogs for Kiplan.

Anger turned quickly to despair.

Despair turned to hysteria.

But then the carpool came and honked so he ran as quickly as he could out of the bathroom, knowing there would be a big mess to clean up when he got home from the toilet overflowing.

But he didn't run out of the house too fast not to notice Kiplan and wonder to himself "Who eats icecream for breakfast in their underwear?!"

Jeremy then endured another day at work polishing podiums and running errands for his boss.

After work Jeremy was feeling insignificant. He has not gotten any recognition at work for all of his long hard hours. He has lack of sleep. He has no friends. He has no money. And he has no self respect. Certainly he doesn't want to polish podiums for big-wig pompous jerks and unclog toilets for the rest of his life. But what can he do?

Jeremy was starving by this time but he couldn't bear the thought of going home to see Kiplan in his underwear again, probably just watching t.v., with a big puddle of toilet water seeping into the hallway by now, and a bunch of dirty dishes all over the counters. And on top of it all, Kiplan would probably just be complaining. So Jeremy just decided to chill at the park, grill some hotdogs, and maybe make some friends.

Just as Jeremy was finishing his hot dog someone with a picnic sat down at his table.

Jeremy was ecstatic for the opportunity to make a new friend. His name is Jared Frio and Jeremy discovered that he is a natural cook so Jeremy decided to talk about Stu Surprise and then Jared talked about his favorite foods.

Then Jeremy was shocked to find himself being made fun of by Jared. What a jerk!

If he stayed he knew he would end up feeling even worse about himself thanks to his cruel new "friend", so Jeremy ran to the curb to catch a cab home.

When Jeremy got home he was astonished to see that Kiplan had cleaned the entire house. And after Kiplan's horrible day of being beat up by Susan, he could not have been happier to see the smile on his brother's face.

Jeremy sincerely thanked Kiplan for cleaning the kitchen and mopping up the bathroom of his own free will. He really had no idea what it meant to him, and Kiplan could only think of how all the money coming into the house was thanks to Jeremy, but he didn't say anything.

Neither of them wanted to share their humiliating days with one another so they talked about their favorite TV shows and Jeremy asked if any good romantic comedies were playing tonight.

So they sat down together to watch, both just happy for a moment of serenity and the feeling of acceptance from a friend.
Next: Breakdown

Previous: Kiplan Has a Bad Day


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Kiplan Has a Bad Day


Kiplan awoke the next morning feeling good about life. He went to the kitchen and ate ice cream for breakfast and then began to lounge in his underwear, reading a book, when he heard a knock at the door.

It was Susan Wainwright.

Kiplan has not met Susan previous to her knocking on the door, but moments before, Susan had been greeted by Jeremy outside the house before he went to work. And it was at that precise moment when Kiplan took an empty ice cream carton to the garbage (in his tighty whities! Gah!) and Susan must have spotted him.


Kiplan invited her in with no delay and began talking and doling out all his charms, but unlike Agnes, Susan did not appreciate his attempts.


Kiplan realized that Susan has the snob trait.


Kiplan felt hurt. He has the over-emotional trait which sometimes, as we will soon find out, is not a good combo with the evil trait.

He protected his own feelings by mocking her snobbery.

Then he began to mock her scientific pretention, her pristine lab coat, and boiling beakers.

After the mocking was some shouting. After the shouting was some back-handed slapping.


And before he could control himself, not that he ever really does, he declared Susan his arch-nemesis.

That's when they broke out in a full on fist-throwing tumble right in the middle of the living room floor. And Susan kicked his trash.

Kiplan was shocked. Here this snobby woman was, with her stupid blue socks in high heels, and her dumb lab coat, who had knocked on HIS door, and for WHAT?! He would rather he just stayed in his briefs, comfortable in his bed, and read his book.



Kiplan told Susan to leave.

So she did. And on her way out, she smiled. Or was that a smirk? Perhaps she just felt like beating someone up, and when she saw scrawny little Kiplan in his underwear by the garbage that morning she knew that today was the day.



Next: Jeremy Has a Bad Day

Previous: Kiplan Has a Good Day

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Kiplan Has a Good Day

Kiplan was very relieved to learn that Agnes is single. Not that a boyfriend or husband would have deterred him from his goal, but it does make things a little messy. And Kiplan was even more relieved to see how Agnes was positively receiving his pick up lines and compliments.


When Agnes went to the powder room, Kiplan creepily stood by the door the whole time and then scoped the room to see his alternatives.


When she returned they spent the rest of the afternoon flirting and learning more and more about each other.


But, when Agnes began to feel a little crowded at the library Kiplan, not wanting to press his luck, bid her adieu.


With the money that Jeremy had worked hard for all day Kiplan went out to dinner and then made new friends with Parker Langerak on the Corsican Bistro patio.


Standing in the moonlight, laughing with his new friend, thinking about his new girl, and feeling super cool in his leather jacket, Kiplan felt the happiest he had in a long time.


Meanwhile, the exhausted Jeremy went home straight from work, ate dinner alone and silently went to bed.

Next: Kiplan Has a Bad Day

Previous: Kiplan Goes A-Hunting